clearing out my mind like clearing cobwebs from an uncle’s attic, i fumble with words and similes as the fog envelops the city. it should be sunset. the fog makes it seem dusk. this is the city i remember. i have warmed up to it recently, but summer has given her a new chill. i’ll have to wait for the fall.
i need something to focus on or everything overwhelms me. it gets to the point where i can’t even listen to music. i’m re-listening to Nothing Was The Same in the hopes that it grows on me more (not that i don’t like it, but… i don’t LOVE it, you feel me?). also to put my mind in a music mindset at all. it’s a lot, currently. i don’t feel with it, especially as i write this…
chaos is music in itself, sort of. that’s what keeps me company. i need to careful in writing this not to prescribe chaos as a condition to my life. people fall in love with their own little tragedies. i’ve spent the last year divorcing myself from my own, and i’ve made good progress. i’ll be damned if i’ll gloat about how broken i am because i get distracted by my phone.
i’ve exhausted and exasperated myself helping other people. i need to work on my own music for a change.